Sherman

Welcome my friends to the show that never ends, my name is Sherman, I’ll be your guide thru Porn Valley, where fantasy is reality, and reality is not. Where everyone’s a star {in their own minds anyway} Tweeting is really all that matters, the stars work for their agents, no one escorts, everyone’s tested regularly, the public stance is no condoms, while the private stance is not, stardom is not measured in dollars and cents, but in followers, {who serve no real purpose} everyone’s an agent, {even if they don’t rep anyone}, everyone has the answer, but what was the question? And how will anyone know when you’ve become a star? Who? Exactly……

Are Porn Stars CRAZY? You decide:

04/09/12: VOTE FOR CHERIE DEVILLE IN THE MISS FREEONES CONTEST:CLICK ON PHOTO BELOW!!!!


HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!!


With the XRCO Awards right around the corner Sherman’s put his 2 cents together about Porn Awards…..

And the Winner is…

With the XRCO Awards coming up, I got to thinking. Now anyone who really knows anything about Porn Stars would agree: Seems the only thing more important to a Porn star then Tweeting is winning an award. Forget the Idea of trying to create a career, or prepare for life after porn. Just give ‘em the damn trophy and it was all worth it, right?  Back in reality, what is the actual value {or lack there of} of winning an award in Porn? Good for the ego? Absolutely! Does it pay any bills? Get more members for their respective web sites? Get more work?  Get more followers on Twitter?

We’re getting a head of ourselves, let’s go back to beginning:

For the most part, who are the chosen ones, who actually give out the “awards” themselves? More often then not, it is a publication, seeking to increase ad revenue, or create another revenue stream from holding some type of event where the awards will be presented. Now we are not pointing fingers or presenting DNA results for you statistical fanatics, but it would appear that the more money spent on advertising in a particular publication, the more “nominations” or actual awards you get.  But does a Bigger ad generally equate to a better product? What is a better product? Better then what? For sake of discussion, for a company, winning an award can often boost sales of a product, you’d be surprised how much better a product appears to be when you put a pretty sticker on it that says: Winner.

But for Porn Stars?   The odds are so heavily stacked against the average performer that, in reality,  wait, none of this matters in reality. Ok in PSU {that’s Porn Star’s Universe} Will Winning Best New Starlet over my fellow nominees will pay for the special make up artist I hired for the awards show, gaudy dress I’ll never wear again or really tight shoes I can barely move in?

What is a Best New Starlet anyway? How long has she been in the industry before she’s old, {but not yet a milf}. What type of product has she appeared in?  Is she under contract? Can she be “fudly” and still have a chance?  Is she the loudest new performer? Wettest? Most intense? Most Popular?

For you newcomers reading this and hoping to have a chance, the actual time frame to be considered is supposed to be 12 months, has been stretched out to cover 18 months in some places and back in reality, the actual time frame is what ever is needed to appear to justify someone winning. No, winning will not pay for any expenses incurred accepting the award, it will how ever assure you an evening filled with lot’s of friends you never knew you had, plenty of free booze from every loser trying extra hard to get in your pants Lots of whispering behind your back complete with hugs from the losers looking for the right photo op, thinking what a skank you are. Contract stars have the upper hand because they rep companies with bigger ad budgets.

What about some of the other awards? Best Body of work?  Try explaining to the average Gonzo performer who’s done 250 plus scenes, taken everything from Mandingo to a Louisville Slugger and beyond up her ass and just lost to a contract performer who’s done less scenes then the average person has fingers, looks bored out of her skull on camera and has no clue what “Body of Work” means.

Best Actress:  Anyone who performs some of the circus type acts and/or positions with a smile on their faces deserve this more then someone pretending to be someone in a parody.

Best Blow Job: Really? Is there such a thing as a bad blow job to the average person?

What type of qualifications do the voters have? Does quantity matter in this category? And let’s pretend that I just won: What are the chances, I’ll be phoning mom backstage to say a bunch of dirty old men just said I gave the Best Blow Job last year, are you proud of me?

Best Anal? Is there such a thing as a Bad anal scene? Was bleeding taken into consideration when the voters discussed the nominations?  Depth, expansion or cleanliness as well?   Once again: What are the chances, I’ll be phoning mom backstage to say a bunch of dirty old men just said I got my asshole eaten, sucked, fucked and Stretched better then the other nominees.

Back in reality, ask any performer off the record, she’ll say it’s all politics, and to a certain degree, that’s true. But all things being equal, and the most deserving individual actually wins, then what? For some, their agents will raise their per scene rates, for most, hours spent contemplating what they have to do between now and next year’s awards to win is only slightly interrupted so they can tweet.

 

Why are the Older Porn stars more popular then the new ones?

More comings and goings, don’t be surprised to see Rhonda Jo Petty, yes, that Rhonda Jo Petty at next week’s XRCO show.


Where’s the best place to pick up Strippers? Try the 99 cent store,seriously, more and more “exotic” entertainers are being spotted at 99 cent stores then ever, sign of the times? If you get lucky, does this mean you’re a cheap date?

 

 


 

“Are you still going to XRCO?” That seems to be the question going thru Porn Valley after it was announced that .xxx was sponsoring the show. Several performers and journalist’s are skipping the show and talk amongst everyone else we spoke to is mixed leaning towards not going. Reasons for skipping were unanimous:  it has to do with the .xxx being involved in the show.



Just when you think you now everything: Don’t miss our awesome 2 part interview with Ron Jeremy

http://emmreport.com/ron-jeremy-emmreport-exclusive-interview-part-1/

http://emmreport.com/ron-jeremy-emmreport-exclusive-interview-part-2/

Check out exclusive interview with Eva Angelina:

3 Stooges First Look

Lexi Belle Profile:


DEVON IS BACK…..

Devon is back, the former Penthouse Pet and Digital Playground contract star hasn’t filmed anything in over 5 years looks better then ever, clean, lean and {if last night’s webcam show with former Vivid Star Raylene is any indication}wilder then ever.We spoke briefly between shows, while very candid about her past, expect a wiser, mature and much more sexually adventurous performer then before. Also lots of activity in her future, expect big news shortly…. Follow them both on twitter @devonxxx and Raylene @RayleneXXX  Look for more photos and interviews from this shortly.

 

If Steroids are illegal for athletes, shouldn’t photoshop be illegal for models?


TEN RULES ABOUT GUYS SHERMAN WOULD LIKE EVERY WOMEN TO MEMORIZE

10: If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

9: Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

8: Get rid of your cat.

7: Sunday means Sports.

6:Yes , pissing is more difficult standing up then peeing from point blank range.

We’re bound to miss sometimes.

5:  Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

4:  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

3: Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective then deceived.

2: Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

1: Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out

BONUS RULE: Nothing says “I love you” like sex.

BONUS RULE 2: Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.

Why do Porn stars beg strangers for free gifts online then complain about being stalked?

 


Jonestown or Superstardom: Porn and Tweeting: how will I know I’m cool, or will I always be a loser?

Ok, so I checked my twitter page, {is that what you call it?} Not many followers, not many tweets, are the two connected in some subconscious way, or am I simply a loser? So I decided to ask the real twitter expert, the Porn Stars, is there hope for me? And when will I know if I’m cool or not?

Things to consider when pondering such an important issue in the world:

If I’m a guy:

Roughly how many followers does it take till I’m considered cool?

How many times do I have to tweet?

Do I have to tell the truth when I’m tweeting?

Does it help if I follow the popular people, even if I have no idea who they are?

Would it help it I pretend I’m a really hot babe?

Do I have to pretend if I’m totally hip?

Does it matter if I attract different demographics or are followers followers?

Does sending pix help?

Pix of myself?

A specific part of the anatomy?

Should it be covered or exposed?

Should I post some pix of Pets? {Dogs, cats, etc}

And how will I know I’m actually cool? Will I get a discount when I inquire about hiring a Porn star {who spends so much time tweeting, no one will hire her} for a private if she knows how many followers I have?

If I’m a girl {a porn “star” wannabe for sake of discussion}:

Roughly how many followers do I need before I can consider myself the shit?

Should I add some adjectives to my tweet name to make it sound better?

Does it matter if I tell the truth? Or can I add my own details to part of a story I heard on a set?

Does it help to come off sounding more sluttier or less sluttier then I really am? How will I know exactly how slutty I really am?

Is it more important to go to work or to tweet?

Is there a particular sexual act I should brag about that will attract more followers?

Is there a per minute tweet minimum I need before I’m on my way?

What is the best part of the anatomy to post a picture of, even if it isn’t my body?

Should I offer an outrageous sexual favor to the {fill in the biggest number here} person who follows me, strangely, no one wants to pay me to perform the same act in a movie.

Who is the best person to pick a fight with to ensure more followers?

1: My Best Friend

2: My significant other

3: Another wannabe star who I’ve never met, but will work with by the end of the week?

4: Someone I just worked with, and will be hanging out with later that day.

5: Someone already more popular then me?

6: Someone I’ve never met, I just want to their day as shitty as mine?

7: A director or producer who wants to get in my pants but doesn’t want to pay the agents fee?

8: The “reviewer” who didn’t respond properly to my scene where I looked whacked out of my mind on {insert favorite drug here} because I was.

9. The owner of the company I’m under contract to who wants me to act like a bigger whore so he can move more pieces.

10: Myself?

Finally, once I convince myself that I am really cool, or the shit, when I actually have no real friends, am unemployed, no drugs nor skills to get them, then what?  Get in line, have some Kool-Aid like the rest of the followers, there’s always tomorrow, or is there?

Sherman’s Twenty Thoughts that Make you Think for 2009.

While Twitter and Text messaging pretty much re programmed most Porn Stars in 2009, Twitter Allowed them to gossip, rant or just act plain stupid like never before, while texting gave them a new way to skip facing any obligations, commitments jobs, you know, that Adult stuff. Nothing beats good ole one on one conversation, or does it.? Here’s a few highlights {or light lights} from Sherman’s journey thru Porn Valley in 2009. The names have been changed to protect the Chicken…

1: The Hot Blonde who skipped the meeting to develop a marketing plan for her career And asked a week later: “How’s the Marketing going?”

2: The Hot little Brunette who’s idea of taking care of business was by trying to explain That just because she offered someone a blow job, didn’t mean she was going to his suck his dick.

3: “Who do I have to blow to get nominated?” was the battle cry from too many performers to list. When it was suggested that they put that much effort into their careers instead of just getting nominated, at least 3 responded: “Why, my career is not that important!!”

4: “What else can I stick in my ass that will shock people?” wonders another starlet who’d just explained that she once put a miniature bowling bowl in her ass….

5: “Is it ok to “rehearse “ an anal scene before actually doing an anal scene, that doesn’t count as actually doing anal does it? “ Wonders another starlet. {And yes she signed a release for the “rehearsal”}

6: “I was fucking a friend at home, and he asked me if I was comfortable. I thought that was a strange question until later I realized he was fucking me in my ass. I didn’t notice or feel his cock in my ass.”  Said another starlet who doesn’t do anal on camera.

7: “You won’t let anyone know I did this job for 200.00  less then what I tell people my rate is,”  says another star who turned a trick, adding: “I don’t want to get a bad reputation.”

8:”Are you trying to ruin me?” screams another star in another private matter: Seems the Starlet was an hour and half late for an hour gig, stuttering, shaking and explaining how she had to hurry up for her next job. When the John posted a “review” of her, stating that she was a great piece of ass, while mentioning she was an hour and half late, said starlet flipped out, explaining: “My reputation will be destroyed,” she explained, adding “ take it down {the review}”.  He left the review up, she called back a short time later and offered him a second go round. He declined.

9: “That’s not mine” says another star when a crack pipe was found in her hotel room. When explained that she was the only person staying in the room with her dog, she had to think about it, then wondered out loud: “I forgot where I left mine.”

10:  “Do you have any friends who might want to rehearse a bukake with me?” wonders another starlet. When informed that an average bukake included at least 20 guys, she laughed, explaining she’d blown that many guys on a dare.

11:  “You won’t tell anyone about this will you?” wonders another star getting ready to shoot a POV scene during a recent content shoot. “My boyfriend {who runs her site} would kill me if he found out I was working with you.”

12: “I don’t care who’s dick I suck” says an annoyed starlet waiting to shoot her sex scene on a set that’s run behind schedule. Adding: “We gotta do this now, I’m already late. I have to take care of my dentist so he can fix my teeth.”

13: “Can you show him how I like getting fucked in the ass” says another star to the director on another set. Seems the star was.frustrated that the male talent was having problems satisfying her anal cravings.

14: “Don’t you know how to suck dick” wonders another director in mid scene, to a very well known starlet on a Big feature. “Better then you know how to direct” replies the starlet, adding, “I’ll suck off everyone in this room before I touch you.” The rest of the scene went off with out a hitch.

15: “You have my boyfriend’s permission to do what you want to me” explained another starlet, “he won’t get out of jail for at least 10 years.” What did he go to jail for wondered the lucky dude? “He caught me cheating on him, adding:  “So what do you want to do first?”

16: “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” was overheard by an actress walking by a discussion on a set. “Am I working with a Chicken today?’ wonders said starlet, interrupting the discussion,   adding: “My agent never tells me what I’m doing or who I’m working with.”. After pondering the thought, she has one more question: “Does he {the chicken} have a current test?”

17: I’ll suck your cock if put this up on youtube.” Replies another starlet when asked if she felt she was getting a fair shake from the media in the middle of an interview.  No idea how many views the clip got.

18: “I can’t do that for free,” notes another starlet, when asked to do an interview, “my agent’s gotta make something on this.”

19:  “What do you mean I’m not booked,” ponders another, “I booked this directly with you,”  When it was explained that the Producer wanted to do the right thing and pay the agent their due commission , “He {the agent}said you weren’t available, so I booked someone else, states the producer,  who ends up booking the agent’s girlfriend.

20: “Please destroy those photos, they’ll get me divorced”, when asked which photos she was referring to, her initial response was, “you know, the ones of me blowing everybody” Adding: “I’ll tell you what: I’ll blow you if you destroy those shots.”  “Can I grab a couple of shots of you blowing me?” wonders the lucky shutter bug, “Of course.” Repiles the desperate star.