SW: Sherman Way
BL: Bella Lexi
All Photos courtesy of Bella Lexi/DJD Media
SW: Let’s talk about the news you mentioned before we started this interview.
BL: I just had my first experience shooting for Team Skeet. My scene was shot for the Perv Nana category and just came out. It’s gotten a lot of really excellent traction. I think it was probably one of the more fun shoots that I’ve been able to do.
SW: Who did you work with? What was the concept, the theme?
BL: I don’t know the theme, but I worked with Nikki Rebel. I’ve shot with him before. They created this scene around my story of losing my career over my OnlyFans page. They then spoof the law enforcement piece and use my grandson–my step-grandson–to take photos of me and star in videos with me on my OnlyFans.
SW: Was that the first scene you did for Team Skeet?
BL: Yes, it is. I shot twice with them over two days, and this scene, Nana’s Got A Brand New Job, is the first to be released.
SW: Is the second one a continuation of the first one, or is it a separate storyline?
BL: It’s a separate storyline. I shot my first on-camera boy/girl/girl scene.
SW: On that type of shoot, do they take the stills first and then do the sex? Or do they do the stills as you go along?
BL: We did the stills before. Essentially, it was shot in three parts, and then we did the stills for each piece before we shot it.
SW: Tell me about the sex. Are you directed, or does the director just let you guys do your thing?
BL: He more or less just let us go and do our thing. He told us a couple of things he was looking for, and then we took it from there. It was my first POV-style mainstream shoot, which was also an exciting experience.
SW: You mentioned OnlyFans. Did you start that for yourself or for your husband? How did that actually all come up?
BL: Well, we started it together as just some kinky fun. Like many other people, we started it during COVID. It was more or less just to share some photos and see if there was some interest in a voyeuristic look into our relationship, and then it just grew from there. That’s when a former friend got information about it and reported me at work.
SW: Before OnlyFans, were you guys taking photos and giving them to your swinger friends?
BL: We’ve been in and out of the lifestyle. It wasn’t consistent, but yes, sharing photos and videos has been a part of our relationship since we started dating.
SW: Were you surprised by the reaction you initially got from OnlyFans?
BL: I didn’t expect it to go anywhere. So, my husband was running the page. I didn’t have any time to do that. I was busy with work. Then he said, “Oh, there’s like 100 people following our page.” Then, “Oh, there’s 400 people following our page!” I’m like, are you kidding me? Really? And then, once the investigation started and someone from my job leaked it to the media, it blew up.
SW: Well, was the former friend you mentioned the person who ratted you out?
BL: Yeah, she and I had been really good friends. I helped her get her start in law enforcement, and we traveled around the country together. So, I was stunned that she didn’t dare to come to me directly if she was that upset. Ultimately, after everything shook out, it was for the best. But in the middle of it, I didn’t feel that way.
SW: How did you get started in law enforcement?
BL: So this will age me. Well, everyone knows how old I am anyway. But I first saw COPS when it came out in the ‘90s. I said, “Oh my God, I want to do that job.” And so, it just kind of expanded from there. I focused on it. As soon as I got out of high school, I got my first law enforcement job and continued from there.
SW: Were you on the streets? Did you have a specific thing?
BL: I started in administrative roles, working in records and 9-1-1 dispatch. Then I became a police officer. I worked in the jail to start. Then, I went out on the road and handled in-person calls for citizens on the street. And then, to be promoted to lieutenant, I requested a transfer back to the jail. I was promoted to lieutenant and worked in the jail when that career ended.
SW: You’re a gorgeous woman. How did that go over in jail?
BL: Oh, the inmates very much appreciated having me around. I was the only female lieutenant who worked down in the jail. It was funny because people didn’t know who I was when I was first promoted.
SW: Did the cat-calls bother you? I’m sure you heard a lot of propositions, and maybe not sexy, but dirty and vulgar ones at that.
BL: I always held the inmates to the same professional protocol when addressing me as I did to people on the street. So, if someone was like, “Hey baby,” or whatever, I’d be like, “It’s Sergeant,” you know, or “It’s Lieutenant.” I never allowed someone to minimize what I had earned by making those kinds of statements. I didn’t leave any room for misinterpretation of why I was there or what my expectations were.
SW: But before OnlyFans and all that, did you fantasize about people in jail and being the cop? It’s a popular fantasy.
BL: I always had people who would try to say, “Oh, well, how about you let me out of this, and we can work something out?” However, I always stayed focused on my career. I never indulged in anything like that, but the offers were definitely there.
SW: During your tenure on the force, did you ever arrest a prostitute or any sex workers?
BL: Yes, I was involved in undercover prostitution stings and reverse prostitution stings.
SW: Did you have any preconceived notions about this industry before entering the adult business?
BL: You know, I grew up as a connoisseur of adult entertainment. I always thought it would be super hot to shoot porn, but because of my career, I was like, well, no, that would never work. So, I think it just really more or less just kind of opened up the ability for me to explore that and having been thrown into the public light around it, I think it really kind of pushed me into a position to be able to try it.
SW: When you saw porn, did it ever cross your mind that you could do that?
BL: I always thought it would be super hard to do, but I never thought I would ever be able to do it. So, when I asked myself, should I be a cop or should I be a porn star–cop seems more realistic, right? But now, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience both careers.
SW: We say this about the adult business, but what is the reality of being a police officer as a good-looking woman and having to deal with jail, the street, and administrative stuff? What is that like, as opposed to what people think it is?
BL: It’s not at all glamorous like they show on TV. As a female in a male-dominated field, you work much harder to prove that you can take care of yourself and make sound decisions. And then, getting promoted was more difficult because you had to study harder and test better to make that list. And so, ultimately, I did work really hard. I placed really well on all of my tests, put in the work, and put in the time. I was very proud of what I did, and I earned it. I could look in the mirror daily and say, “I earned where I’m at.”
SW: At that point, does the reality hit you that you’re a cop and the work is running against your expectations? Did you have the TV stuff in your head where you thought, “I’m gonna start chasing and shooting people,” and all that?
BL: Oh, for sure. So, when I first started in the jail, that was like trying to get my feet underneath me because there weren’t a lot of cop shows like there are now, but I always knew I wanted to go work on the road. I couldn’t get promoted at the agency where I worked when I became a cop. So I transferred, did my fair share of running and gunning on the street, and loved every minute of it. I loved helping people, and I had to arrest people, which was part of my job. But I always tried to treat people like they were someone’s family member, their mom, their dad, their brother. And I think that’s what got me far in my career–I just respected people. Yeah, I had to arrest them or give them a ticket or whatever, but ultimately, I was respectful, and I think that went a long way.
SW: What’s the craziest thing you saw as a cop?
BL: Oh, damn. I always say this is my funniest story, and I’ve never shared it in an interview. So you get the scoop. I tell it at parties all the time. But I got a call where this guy was like, “Hey, I think someone tried to break into my house.” So, I go to his house, he answers the door, and he’s not wearing a shirt, and he has on these like nylon shorts or whatever, and he is very hairy like a bear. And so, he opens the door, like, “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you,” and I was like, “uh, okay, well, you called, right?” And he’s like, “Yeah,” and I said, “Okay, well, um, can you put a shirt on, and we’ll have our conversation.” And he goes like this, he’s like, “Oh, does this make you uncomfortable? Throughout this whole contact, he refused to put a shirt on and kept touching his hairy body, and I was just like, let me just take this report and let me get out of here. Initially, it was a bit overwhelming, but that was probably one of my funnier stories. Like certainly nothing you would ever expect of them from someone to stand there and petting themselves in front of you was just awkward.
SW: Did you ever shoot anybody?
BL: I did not. There are two things I never did in my career, I never had to take a life, and I never delivered a baby.
SW: I usually ask women if they’re submissive or dominant. But when you’re a police officer, are you always dominant, because maybe you have to be?
BL: I do think that just that being a police officer was such a massive part of my life that it definitely made me more dominant in my personal life and in my sexuality. Certainly, I have done a couple of switch videos and things like that because a lot of my fans wanna see me submissive. Still, it is a challenging role for me to take on because I just have always been so in control.
SW: And like, when you’re on the street, you’re gonna arrest somebody, and you’re this hot babe that shows up, and you tell them, I’m gonna arrest you. Do you have to be more assertive? Because they’re looking at you like, there’s no way this woman’s gonna arrest me.
BL: Oh, absolutely. And you know, I did have some people who would try to fight me when they were like, oh, I guess she’s for serious. And I’m like, look, I don’t wanna fight you. I tried to charm people into handcuffs more than fight them into handcuffs.
SW: You are from Colorado, right?
BL: Yes, I am a Colorado native or a dying breed, but yes, I’ve been here my entire life.
SW: Did you go to public school or private school?
BL: I was somewhat of a troubled youth, and so I went to a private religious school for all of my schooling.
SW: In grade school, did you have a favorite subject?
BL: No, because I pretty much always hated school until I went to college as an adult learner. I was like, I don’t understand why we have school. Once I became an adult learner and paid my way, I had a new appreciation for education. So, I enjoyed all my sociology classes and things like that, which helped me become a better police officer.
SW: Did you know what you wanted to do with the rest of your life when you were a little kid?
BL: It was not until I was about fourteen and saw that COPS episode that it clicked. And you know, the cool thing was, since I didn’t enjoy school, and you didn’t have to be a college graduate to be a police officer. So, it all fell into place for me. I was like, oh, this was meant to be.
SW: In high school, were you a popular girl? Were you a loner, a geek, a nerd?
BL: I was popular. I always hung out with the guys because the girls in my school were super stuffy and didn’t want to have any fun. So, I typically hung out with the boys. I mean, I grew up in an all-boy neighborhood, too. So, it flowed naturally, and then to move into law enforcement, which is male-dominated, it just worked.
SW: Were you ever bullied in grade school or high school?
BL: Unfortunately, I was on the giving end of that. I’m not proud of it, but that is the truth.
SW: Were a lot of the other girls jealous of you? You’re a good-looking woman. Did you steal some boyfriends?
BL: No, I never broke the girl code and stole boyfriends. I didn’t really come into my own until I was an adult. I always used to joke that I was an introverted, ugly duckling. Once I found who I really was and things like that, I bloomed into who I am.
SW: You mentioned you were a troubled youth. Were you stealing stuff?
BL: I never committed any felonies, but I did a lot of underage drinking and partying and smoking and things like that. I mean, I grew up in a religious environment where it’s wrong to dance, it’s wrong to have sex, it’s wrong to drink. And I’m like, “Well, what makes all this wrong? If it’s wrong, I should try it out, right?” I would check it out, and it wasn’t bad. And I’m like, “Okay, I’m gonna keep doing it.”
SW: So, was all that acting out a rebellion for you?
BL: I had a very religious family. I mean, we were in church any time the doors were open. And organized religion just from the beginning was just never something that really fit well with me.
SW: Did your parents instill in you that you had to wait till you got married before you could have sex and all of that?
BL: Oh yeah, for sure! So, with what I do now, I’m obviously, you know, involved in sexual things with people other than my spouse. But at the end of the day, I’m the one who makes those decisions with my spouse, and I’m fully confident in what I do, and I don’t feel like it’s wrong at all.
SW: Do you remember the first time you saw something adult-related? A movie or a magazine?
BL: I do. I remember running around with all the boys in the neighborhood. We were in one of their garages. I don’t even remember what we were looking for, and we stumbled upon a Playboy magazine. We were all standing there, like, wow, and we were just flipping through the pages. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. And it’s like, these are naked ladies, you know? So that was the first time. And I was like, “It’s kind of hot.” Like, you know, she’s beautiful. And it answered some of the questions we have at that age.
SW: Did you look at that and notice an attraction to the boys? Maybe you wanted that attention.
BL: No, I didn’t really notice that. What I probably noticed, and I have no shame, was, “Oh wow, she’s really hot.” And that makes me feel tingly. So, I think I’ve just always had an appreciation for the porn world.
SW: Were you popular with the boys? Did you have sex a lot in high school? Or was that something you waited until you were older?
BL So, once I started having sex, it was kind of something I was like, “Oh, okay, this is amazing.” I mean, I’ve always been very sexual. So, I would say that it just kind of expanded as I grew older and had a better understanding of sex and what felt good to me and exploring on my own. So, I think the gates were open once that first experience was out of the way.
SW: And at that point, were you more into exploration? Was it just like one boy, or were you like on the prowl?
BL: I saw this boy, like, I wanted to do him. I would say that. I wasn’t necessarily on the prowl, but I wasn’t in the business of saying no if an opportunity arose.
SW: Okay, and had you done any modeling or anything before you and your husband started taking photos and all that?
BL: No, I never had. In fact, I always avoided the camera. And so now, to be in front of the camera doing interviews and getting naked and filming sex for the camera is just a completely different experience. I’ve had to learn a lot.
SW: What was that first shoot like for you? Was it your husband that took the pictures or somebody else?
BL: I really didn’t start sharing a lot of naked pictures until I was older. And so then, of course, I was taking them for myself. And then, once my husband and I had been dating for a while, it was, you know, “Hey, let me take some pictures of you.” And it was exciting. And so, then, it just blossomed from there. And now I don’t have a problem taking those types of pictures for anyone. I think there’s a lost art in it sometimes that people don’t realize when they’re busy judging what we do. Still, it is an artistic expression, and it’s beautiful.
SW: In high school, had you taken any naughty pictures you sent to other boys to tease them or any photos?
BL: No, because I grew up before cell phones were really a thing. I was probably 19 years old when I got my first cell phone. So we didn’t have access to things like that. I mean, I still had dial-up internet, right? And maybe some chat rooms and things like that were just starting to appear. It wasn’t really something I had a lot of access to, and it was also expensive, so you didn’t have it at home anyway.
SW: So, when you saw actual hardcore, did you understand what that was, the penis and the vagina and all that stuff? Did it turn you on?
BL: Yeah, absolutely. I think if people are honest with themselves about the first time they experienced porn, I think that you would find that more often than not, yeah, they do find it arousing–and there is no shame in that. But I think what happens is people succumb to the pressures of religion or other people’s judgments. And I would say knowing that adult entertainment is a multi-billion-dollar industry that supposedly no one watches content from is pretty ironic.
SW: You finish high school and go to college just to be a cop, right? Or do you go to college for something else?
BL I was an adult learner. I didn’t go to college until I was in my thirties. And so, I initially was like, I need an associate’s degree to be promoted to sergeant. So, I got my associate’s degree in criminal justice and enjoyed it. And I was like, you know what? I think I’m gonna get my bachelor’s. Then, I was halfway through my master’s program when everything blew up, and I haven’t returned to school. I don’t need a master’s degree to work in the adult industry!
SW: And when you become a cop, do you have goals for yourself at that point? You know, “I want to be the Chief,” or “I want to be the Deputy Mayor,” or whatever.
BL: Oh, absolutely. I was like, I’m gonna grow up and be a big girl sheriff, you know? Like, I will focus on this career and continue until I reach the top. When I left law enforcement as a lieutenant, I was among the top 3% of women in the law enforcement field. I definitely worked very hard, and I was able to prove myself. I didn’t make it to sheriff, but that’s okay. Lieutenant was something that I definitely earned, respected, and enjoyed.
SW: Let’s jump back to OnlyFans. Do you update every day? What’s your handle and all that stuff?
BL: I post every day. The easiest way is for people to go to my website, TheRealBellaLexi.com. It’s super easy to find, and my OnlyFans and all of my other links are on there.
SW: When you shoot content, is this stuff you want to shoot or things you think will sell?
BL: Sometimes people propose things to me, like, “Have you ever thought of shooting this?” And sometimes it’s customs that people say, “I would really like this.” I don’t have a problem saying no if it’s something that’s not in my wheelhouse, but I am open to exploring. So, I would say there are not a lot of things that have been recommended to me that I haven’t at least tried twice.
SW: You mentioned you do customs. What’s the craziest request you got for a custom?
BL: I always say there’s really no crazy request because I’m very non-judgmental when it comes to people’s sexual interests. But I would say that there are some things outside my comfort zone which I decline to shoot. But sometimes it’s fascinating. Sometimes, it pushes me to think outside the box of what I’m typically interested in and how I want that to look.
SW: And for you with OnlyFans, and now that you’re a celebrity, is success based more on personality when it comes to OnlyFans, or do people want to watch you get boned?
BL: It’s a little bit of both, but honestly, what my fans tell me is that they feel I’m very approachable and genuine, and I don’t put on a persona. That’s not me. And so. I mean, it’s like, I’ve always been honest with people, so much so that I just went through a lot of experience in the last few months with some breast implant issues and things like that. And so I decided to share that with my fans. I’m like, I’m gonna be honest with you. This is what I’m experiencing. I had a couple of surgeries. I’m still facing one more for reconstruction. They could relate to me, and I was willing to share something personal and include them. And being authentic and relatable is what really builds rapport with my fans. Knowing that I personally answer fan messages forges a unique relationship with them.
SW: And from when you grew up in Catholic school to becoming a cop, was there any sense of rebellion when you started the OnlyFans?
BL: Oh, of course. There’s always that little bit of people who think this is wrong, but it’s really hot. And, you know, when you grow up in that kind of church family, you still have some of those things that linger in your thoughts. Indeed, when my story went public, I will tell you that many of the people I went to high school with were the first to jump on that bandwagon, send me a message, and tell me how wrong I was. But it will always be something that sits in the back of my mind. I don’t think you ever outgrow that, but I’ve come to a different place in life where I can better relate to where I am, what I believe is right, and what I think is wrong.
SW: When you started your OnlyFans, how much thought goes into producing police-themed content? Do you avoid it because of your job?
BL: It’s a great question. So, I never made any police-related content until my story broke. On my OnlyFans, I never said what I did. I said I was a stay-at-home mom with a part-time photography gig. And so no one ever knew until it was leaked to the media that I was actually a police officer. It blows up, and my first thought is, “Holy fuck, I’m probably gonna lose my job.” And then my second thought was, “Who the fuck ratted me out?” And so the letter of complaint I received gave me just enough information. I was able to hazard a guess who it was. Then, I made an open records request and asked for the interviews and other things in the investigation. Ironically, the Sheriff’s office forgot to redact one name in that investigation, and boom, I found her.
SW: Was there a morality clause or anything when you became a public servant or a police officer?
BL: No, nothing says, “Oh, I won’t film adult content.” There’s nothing that says adult content is wrong. However, they use a catch-all policy called “conduct unbecoming of a police officer.” So, if it doesn’t fit into another policy violation, it was “conduct unbecoming,” and you put the sheriff’s office in a negative light. And that’s what they investigated me for. I have seen it jam up a lot of cops. I’ve participated in many internal affairs and disciplinary decisions once a decision is made on wrongdoing in a case. And I always tried to be fair and think about where they were in the situation and what their decision was. When I was reading about investigations and things like that, I believe that being on the other end of it and being the recipient of “conduct unbecoming” on something that really had nothing to do with my career, I feel a little jaded about that.
SW: But given everything you just said, do you think you got a fair shake when they conducted the investigation, or do you think it was predetermined that your career was finished?
BL: I think that a predetermination was made. I can’t say definitively, but I can say that most people don’t retire early and get a severance package. So that’s about all I can say about that. When it blows up, you get people hitting you up on social media, bragging that they banged you before you were famous, and all of that. I heard from some people who were like, “Oh my God, do you remember me? We dated, we fucked, we… whatever.” And so I was like, “Okay, well, yeah, I don’t remember you. I’m pretty sure we never did.” So, I think people wanna connect to famous people somehow. And so I did hear from some people who are like, “I would have never guessed you would become a porn star,” or whatever, so it was kind of funny to see the wide range of responses.
SW: And I know people use handles on OnlyFans, but do you have any ideas on whether maybe some cops used to work with that joined OnlyFans or anybody like that?
BL: Oh, for sure, and it’s interesting because some of them would join my page and be like, “Oh, I always thought you were hot” and this and that, or “Oh, I worked for you, but I can’t tell you who I am, but I’ll let you try to guess.” And I’m like, look, dude if you worked for me for real, you know I don’t play games. I won’t try to guess who you are, but thanks for your fifteen bucks.
SW: How long after you get the letter do you get terminated and get a severance package? At what point do you decide, okay, this is where I am and what I gotta do now?
BL: So, I completed my interview for the media. It must have been October. And then there were a bunch of fires and things here in Colorado. And so the story never aired. And by then, I had already been terminated. All of that had done its thing. And I thought it would blow over, and the story wouldn’t have legs. Until I received a call from a UK media company. They said, “Oh, we got information that this had happened to you.” So, I think whoever initially reported me was disappointed. The story didn’t air. And then I think that’s what prompted it to go bigger than I had anticipated. I really didn’t want to be news fodder, right? Like it was my personal life. And so I think then once it did, I was like, well, I’m gonna embrace this, and I’m gonna commit myself to shooting content, and I’m gonna make OnlyFans my full-time job. And then, about six months after that, I sat down with my husband. I was like, maybe I should go shoot mainstream. I always thought it would be kind of hot. Let’s see if I can get an agent. Let’s just see if I can. And within about ten days of that decision, I was on my first set.
SW: You do anything police themed at that point? Do you milk it? Do you just leave it alone?
SW: And do people ask you for custom videos of you arresting them, or are you doing other things to them?
BL: Absolutely, yes. And I’ve gotten savvy at doing it solo on camera and pretending to interrogate someone. People like that dirty piece. I think many people have a uniform kink, especially women for men, but I think that men have had that for women as well. And it allows them to get a firsthand experience of what that could be like because chances are they would never experience it in real life.
SW: Have you used a police baton as a sex toy or anything?
BL: No, I have not done that. I do use my agency-issued handcuffs. I clean them up and use them on people I shoot content with. If I go to Exxxotica, they say, “Hey, will you handcuff me?” I’m like, “Sure!” I pull out the real handcuffs and the real handcuff key and give them this whole experience.
SW: Has it made you stronger? Has it changed your perspective?
BL: Absolutely. I would say 100%. Having gotten out of a career that I think, now that I’m out, I realized wasn’t as giving to me as I was to it. I don’t know, but ultimately, it’s just rounded me out as more of a unique and interesting person with so much to offer, for lack of a better explanation.
SW: From a sexual perspective, were you always a dominant woman? Were you submissive?
BL: I would say I was submissive initially whenever I was first exploring sex. But then I think that as time went on and as I got further in my career, I started to realize that I am a lot more dominant as far as that goes. And it did carry over into my personal and my sex life.
SW: And the whole experience developed a thicker skin for you.
BL: Oh, for sure. Had I not been a police officer and this happened to me, I would not have survived it the way I did. I reach out to girls who find themselves in the media after losing their careers over OnlyFans. Had I not been exposed to some of the things I was in my career and over my lifetime, I wouldn’t have fared so well. And I do see that happen for some girls who, you know, are thrust in front of the camera in those situations. And my heart breaks for them. And you can’t tell someone how to be. It’s just something that it’s there, or it isn’t. I’ve been very fortunate to be strong enough and had fantastic support from my husband to survive it.
SW: Well, you mentioned your husband. How does all this affect him?
BL: You are the first person to ask me that. It was challenging, you know? It surrounded me then, but I tried hard to focus on him, asking him, “Are you okay? This is crazy.” You know, because people don’t realize that his family was affected by it, too. My in-laws were probably not the happiest with me, things like that. And so, it took a lot of strength on his part to be supportive and deal with some of the opinions from others. And so, it really brought us closer together. And I always joked, saying, “Nothing will break us. We will survive this. We’ve got this in the bag.”
SW: And was there any regret, on his part or maybe even yours, when the whole thing blew up, and you lost your job because of OnlyFans? Was there any thought perhaps we should stop the OnlyFans, or was it too late at that point?
BL: At that point, we knew it was too late. What was out there was out there. We tried to control some damage and minimize the blowback and exposure for the kids. But ultimately, we had no control, even though you feel you can manage this. You really don’t have that. And that was the most challenging part for both of us.
SW: You’re doing OnlyFans, then you decide to do mainstream adult work. What is that discussion like with your husband? “Honey, I wanna go shoot porn and work with dudes in California.”
BL: Once everything blew up, the idea was there, but it wasn’t something we had discussed per se. So when we sat down to discuss it, he brought a lot of positivity and support. He said, “Hey, if this is what you want to do, I will support you. I won’t stand in your way. I want you to be successful. Let’s give it a try.”
SW: And you decided to do mainstream adult. Is your first movie a boy/girl? Was it a girl/girl?
BL: Boy/girl, yeah, for Hot MILFs Fuck.
SW: And for you, at what point does it hit you like you’re going to shoot a real porn? Like when you’re driving there or when you’re in the makeup chair?
BL: So my husband took me to the airport that morning, and he dropped me off, and I go to my gate, and I was like, “I’m about to go shoot real-life porn. This is crazy.” And I get on the plane, and I’m a ball of nerves, and I’m like, I’m gonna actually have to get naked in front of these people. You know, so I’m flying, and I’m like, “Okay, okay, I can do this, this is gonna be fine.” And then I get in the car, and we’re driving through this kind of seedy neighborhood, and I’m like, “What have I gotten myself into? Where am I going?” I guess the neighborhood was going through some gentrification. So there’s this beautiful home that I pull up to. The director, make-up artist, and everyone were so incredibly impressive that once I walked through the door, a lot of my fear of the unknown or any doubts just kind of faded. I thought, “Okay, this is happening, and I’m gonna do my best at it.”
SW: For the sake of discussion, I don’t know the name of the male actor. We’ll call him Johnny. You walk on the set, and he says, “Hi, I’m Johnny. I’ll be working with you today.” Does that turn you on? How does that work for you?
BL: I think when he first came in, it was funny because I was sitting there, and they were wrapping up my makeup, and he pulled up a chair, and he sat down, and he’s like, hey, I’m your male talent. I’ve seen your story. I just wanted to talk with you a little bit. And we just kind of sat there and talked like ordinary people. And it wasn’t until the camera started rolling, and I said, “Okay, yeah. I can see myself hanging it out with this guy.” And then it was just kind of one of those things. I love sex, and I love men. I love women as well, and I will not discount that. But I think it just all became a thing, and you just get so caught up in the moment, you’re turned on, and people are watching, and it’s all on camera. And yeah, it just all became super awesome and fun.
SW: Is it a turn-on for you that guys will jack off to you?
BL: Absolutely, I love it. Like, love it, love it, love it. And you know, I meet people, and they’re like, “Oh, well, I’m really nervous about meeting you.” And I’m like, “Don’t be nervous.” I’m just another girl you may not know in person, but now you get to meet me in person, and I’m glad I turned you on. I’m so happy you love my work and things like that. And so I think that because I am so authentic when they meet me in person, they’re like, “You are just like you are in your movies.” And I really pride myself on being approachable and, you know, letting people realize that it’s OK to talk to me.
SW: Do you remember your reaction the first time you saw professional nudes of yourself?
BL: I was like, wow, okay, they made me look really good there. And then I said, “Okay, babe, you’re right.” My husband has always been huge on lighting. And when you’re not confident about your body, like I wasn’t initially, you want it to be dark and whatever. And what I found is, yeah, the more light, the better. And you look amazing. And it almost seemed like it wasn’t me.
SW: After your first shoot, it goes well. Do you immediately start shooting a lot? Or do you take some time to think about it? Maybe you didn’t want to do more mainstream shoots?
BL: I was hooked. I was hooked from the first shot. I talked to my agent when I got in the car to return to the airport. And I was like, “Oh my God, sign me up for the next one. This is amazing!”
SW: At what point do you call your husband? Do you say, “Hey, I just had great sex with this dude?”
BL: So the cool thing about Hot MILFs is they do candid shots, you go in the bathroom to clean up and whatever and take a shower, and you kind of say how it went and whatever. So I did that. I showered and got ready to go, and I called my husband as soon as I got out of the shower because now I wasn’t on camera, and I was like, “Oh my God, babe, that was like super hot!” I said, “I came a couple of times for real.” And because that wasn’t my thing, I’m like, “What if I have to fake it?” Cause I’m really not good at faking, right? So yeah, I mean, it felt good. It was good. I felt like it looked good. I was proud of myself. And so yeah, I think he was glad to hear that it went well because he hadn’t heard from me for hours, right? So I think in the back of his mind, he’s like, “I hope it’s going well.” So, it was great to touch base with him. And I was so thankful. I was like, “Thank you for being so supportive. I really appreciate you. I can’t wait to get home and tell you everything about it.”
SW: Tell me about going from watching adult films to making one. What was the reality of that for you? Was it a turn-on?
BL: It seemed somewhat unbelievable. Truthfully, I understood it was for real when I met people I had watched previously in my personal life and had indulged in their work. And then to meet them in person was when I was like, “Okay, wow, this is really happening, and I’m really a part of this.” And I’ve been so lucky that women in the industry whom I came up watching and enjoying have been so supportive of me and want to help me be successful, give me great advice, and are completely honest with me because that’s what I need and that’s what I want. I want to learn all the things and get good at this.
SW: Pick any male actor for the sake of discussion. You’ve watched this guy and their work, and then you have the opportunity to work with them. What is it like the first time you touch his penis? Is it what you think it is? Is it weird?
BL: It’s like, “Holy shit, I’m actually really here!” And I don’t know. It’s not weird. I think it’s just kind of an unbelievable moment. And then I think you just get caught up in it and don’t really think about all of that. You know, you’re just like, “Okay, I’m here. I’m going to enjoy this. This feels good. This looks good.” So I think if you’re in a good place sexually, then all of that kind of just dissipates, and you lose the nerves and stress.
SW: At what point after you got terminated did adult work become a career for you instead of just a possibility?
BL: January 25th, the day that my story blew up and everyone in the world knew what I was doing, is when I was like, okay, I have to throw myself into this. I have to commit to this. I thought I could never work in the private sector again. So, I will commit to applying myself as I did in my law enforcement career. And what helps make me successful today is I have a 100% buy-in. I have a 100% passion for what I do.
SW: I don’t know if you moved or anything when this whole thing blew up, but for the sake of discussion, do you have those experiences in public where you used to go to the same store all the time, and now you go in there and people are staring at you and looking at you?
BL: I have people who recognize me, mainly because I live in a small community. For example, I have a grocery store I go to, and all the guys who work there know what I do. And when I walk in there, “How’s it going? How was AVN? I loved your picture on Instagram.” They’re super supportive. And so, I think that sometimes when it gets a little awkward, it is maybe if some guy is with his significant other, girlfriend, wife, whatever, and maybe looks at me. Then they look at me, and I get a dirty look, and I’m like, “Hello, I’m just here shopping.” And I think a lot of times maybe the women don’t know that their significant other recognizes me from adult work because I think a lot of women live in denial that their man watches porn.
SW: Were you always into women before you got into adult work, or did that evolve?
BL: I’ve always been interested in women. I experimented in my late teens and early twenties. I married my first husband, and it was a complicated relationship. So, when that all ended, and I was single and on my own again, I wanted to explore this. I wanted to know if this is something that I’m interested in. Of course, I was not disappointed, and I learned that I was on the right path.
SW: Do you and your husband check out women together?
BL: Oh, absolutely. We always have. We’ll be out. I can appreciate a beautiful woman, you know. If my husband sees me double-take some guy and says, ” You think he’s hot?” I’m like, “Yeah, I do.” And there’s never any judgment around it, you know? So I think being open about that and appreciating good-looking people is normal.
SW: Have you always been comfortable approaching good-looking people, men, women, or anything, or are you more of a shy person?
BL: That’s when you might find I’m slightly more introverted. People fear rejection, and I’m just like everyone else. So, if I were to approach someone, I still have that little bit of me that says, “Oh, I don’t wanna get rejected.”
SW: What makes you think that?
BL: There’s always that aspect of it, but when I’m in an environment where I know it’s receptive, I feel more confident.
SW: Do you like direct people? Or do you prefer people who are softer in their approach?
BL: I prefer directness. That’s how I am. Let’s not dance around. Let’s just be adults. Let’s talk about what that topic is or whatever that looks like. And I feel like that’s also a matter of mutual respect, which is just being honest and truthful about what you’re looking for.
SW: Is your husband turned on when other guys find you attracted to women, or does that bother him?
BL: Oh yeah, I know he enjoys it. At first, I was like, “Do you think that all those 400 people jerk off to me?” Like, at first, you don’t believe it, right? And now it’s just something that I appreciate, and I love it. And I think that he’s in the same position. And I think it reaffirms that you’re with someone who’s super attractive and desirable to other people.
SW: Does your husband like to step back and watch the ladies do their thing first and then join?
BL: Yeah, I mean, that has happened. And sometimes, it’s just whatever happens in the moment. It depends on the person, the circumstance where you are, what’s happening, and things like that. So, we’re both very good at reading body language and the temperature of the situation. He’s certainly seen me play with other women. He just enjoys it, and I do my thing. I enjoy the person I’m with, and he also supports that.
SW: What kind of woman are you into? Everybody has a look, a type.
BL: I love tall women, blondes, you know, not necessarily big boobs. I am appreciative of boobs of all sizes, but I’m into fit women and women who take care of themselves. And it’s funny, my husband and I are the same type regarding women.
SW: And are you more dominant with women? Are you more submissive?
BL: Oh, the dominance carries over even with women.
SW: Do you like having toys and doing strap-on stuff with women, or is it just more kissing and touching and that kind of thing?
BL: Oh, I enjoy everything. And in fact, I just had my first strap-on experience in December. I shot with a local girl here in Colorado, and she’s like, I want to use a strap-on on you. And I was like, okay, let’s give it a try. And that is probably one of the most submissive things I felt like I could do with another woman using a double dildo. It’s not someone being dominant or submissive, but I think that definitely put me into somewhat of a submissive role. And it was super freaking hot.
SW: And from being in this business and stuff now, do you still actually like sex, or sex is just a job?
BL: Oh, I love sex. I don’t think sex will ever be a job for me.
SW: And your husband, has he maintained his job and done all that stuff, or is he just, I’m sure, he may be helping you more in your career now?
BL: He has his career. He works in the private sector. He’s very supportive and helps me with my stuff. I couldn’t do everything without his help, especially when everything blew up. I was like, I just needed his support. I was emotional, things like that. But yeah, he has his career to march on in. And so he does help where he can. But, for the most part, this has become my work separate from that. It’s a profession, but it’s also real life.
SW: AVN just happened. Was that your first one, or had you been to one before?
BL: That was the first one I attended. I had a fan nomination, and it was the first red carpet I had ever been on. It was exciting, overwhelming, intense, and humbling.
SW: Did you have any expectations going into it?
BL: I approached it like an Exxxotica because that was the only big event I had ever done. And I was very impressed with just the difference. Because of AVN, a lot of us shoot professionally, right? We get paid, and we shoot mainstream. It’s our career versus just being a content creator. And so, it was a more familial environment. Like everyone’s very supportive. And even though there’s a sense of competition or whatever, I think that at the end of the day, those of us who work in the professional industry, I think we all just want to see each other be successful and support one another, and I enjoyed that.
SW: Do you think there’s a difference between a content creator and a porn star?
BL: I do, and I don’t feel bad saying that. I started as a content creator, and once I started working in the mainstream, I became a better content creator. This also secured a reputation for me as a very professional, which means a lot to me. And it’s not just a game. It’s not just something I do for fun. It’s legitimately my career, and I take it very seriously.
SW: Do you think having done mainstream films that had that much impact on your OnlyFans?
BL: I do. I think it’s funny you ask that because I look back at things I shot before I started shooting mainstream, and I have come a long way. And you know, at first, I never wanted to watch my work, but now I watch everything I shoot. Even if I shoot a solo video here at home, the first thing I do is when I’m done, I get dressed, and then I sit down and watch it because I think that’s the only way you get better. And I see things I do. I’m like, “Oh, why didn’t I do that? Or why did I say that?” You know, and I think that kind of carries over into the mainstream shoots, and that’s how you become better.
SW: When you’re watching your scenes, do you watch them from an arousal perspective or a technical perspective?
BL: Both. I’m not embarrassed to say that I shoot some stuff and get turned on while watching it. And that is what makes me better at what I do. I can embrace that. I’m like, “Wow, I look really good there,” or you know, “That was actually really brilliant on the fly, and that’s super fucking hot.” And so I watch stuff that I shoot with my husband. We both find it a turn-on. So, that may make me different. I don’t know, but I enjoy it. And so I don’t have any shame in admitting that it does turn me on to watch it later. And many people say when you do mainstream adult work, it’s exaggerated, versus OnlyFans, where people think a lot more of it’s authentic.
SW: Do you find that you are more authentic or more likely to act when you shoot?
BL: I’m pretty authentic across the board. I’m also in a very good place as a woman in my 40s. I’ve done a lot of self-exploration with my body. And I think that that also puts me in a position where I don’t have to fake as much because maybe something isn’t feeling good, but I know how to move myself to make it feel good.
SW: Are you starting a production company?
BL: Yes, I’ve started one. I haven’t done anything super official yet. I’ve just been dabbling. I hope some scenes will be released by the end of 2024. I have a good business plan and am excited to expand into the industry. My ultimate goal is to provide an environment for performers so they can do great work, get paid well, and be respected.
SW: When you shoot, are you bringing your dirty thoughts to life?
BL: There’s some of that. I also work with a writer, so I can throw some ideas out there and then get back something I think will be well-received by the talent or fans.
SW: Will it be easy or difficult for you to become a business person instead of just a performer? When you’re a business person, you tend to push things. You want more for your buck than when you’re the performer.
BL: It likens itself to when I was a supervisor in law enforcement. You are definitely in a more hands-off position, but it also challenges you to improve and learn more. You learn a different side to things and try to make an impact and help someone new in the industry. As I said, I don’t claim to know everything, and I have a lot of room to grow, but at the same time, I want to explore all the aspects of the business.
SW: What makes a good scene? Is it lighting? Is it good energy? What is it?
BL: Oh, energy all day long. I mean, obviously, lighting is essential, camera angles are important, things like that, but having that connection with the talent and digging that energy, I think, is contagious through the lens, and I think it comes across to the people who are enjoying it. You must have a good rapport with your co-partner on camera for it to be a good scene. You know, I hear two sides of that.
I like to have a good connection with the people I shoot with, and that’s what I enjoy. There’s downtime on sets, right? So, I like to laugh and joke with the director and other talent. I think that kind of breaks down the anxiety. And I think it just makes it a better scene all around, as well. So I think it’s essential.
SW: Does this business put that much pressure on you?
BL: What happens is that women often get into this at a very young age. I had a lot of life experience, but when you don’t have much life experience, you sometimes fall into the party scene or need substances to feel more confident in a scene you’re not 100% into. That’s where we do a disservice to people in this industry by choosing an escape to make something better versus sitting down, having a conversation, and being like how can we make this more comfortable? You don’t need to turn to a substance to make a good scene, and sometimes, we ask women to push their boundaries, and it causes them to indulge in things. And it’s also a party environment. You have a lot of people who are younger with a lot of money and wanna have a good time. And it gets away from people. And I think that when you start to notice in the industry that your friends are having an issue, you need to sit down and have that real-life conversation and be like, ‘Hey, I think you might need some help in this. I think you might be on the wrong path.” And I think that that takes a lot of courage. And I don’t think many people in the industry have that courage.
SW: You mentioned pushing boundaries. Do you think many performers need to be more comfortable standing up for themselves? Maybe they don’t want to make a director mad or fear they won’t get hired again, so they just go with whatever’s thrown at them.
BL: I do. I agree that most people should only get into this business once they are at least 21. People don’t have enough life experience before that. I have seen a lot of people put in situations where you can tell they don’t want to be there. Still, they’re afraid to stick up for themselves or say anything, so they just go along. Or a girl books a scene and changes her mind. An agent pushes her, claiming, “Well, you have to do it.”
SW: So, does that happen often? Does it surprise you? Can it be changed?
BL: That is because women want to be successful and because they count on money. This may even happen to some men in the industry. Maybe you make an exception or create an extension of something that you’re not sure about because you don’t want to miss out on that next shoot. You want to avoid having a reputation of being a troublemaker. You don’t want the reputation of showing up on a scene and saying, “No, that’s not what I wanted.” And I want people to know that there is a call sheet in this industry for a reason. Your call sheet should say everything you’re doing so you can go into it 100% agreeing with it or be ready to have a conversation. And if there’s a hard pass on something, you must have that conversation with your director. We must be true to who we are and do what we do because we are passionate about it. And that should be across the board. And I think that if something comes up and it’s uncomfortable, I feel like people should be able to say, “No, I’m not okay with this, but can you maybe do this?” Bring a suggestion to the table. Don’t just be like, “I don’t like this. It’s not comfortable for me.” Okay, well, what would make it better? What would be within your boundaries? And I think that’s where sometimes we get lost, too. It is not just saying, “I don’t like this, but why don’t we try this here? Let’s throw this in, and I think I’ll feel better about it.” Like being honest with yourself, your coworkers, and your directors. They are hard conversations to have. And when you don’t have much life experience, you won’t be able to do that.
SW: And for you, what is being successful in your business? Is that a bank account? Is that a house? Is that a cover? Is that a shoot for a company?
BL: First and foremost, I want to know how I feel about it. Second of all, I know that my fans like what I do. They like what I put out. And obviously, that’s the feedback I get through purchases, messages, and meetings in person because we do what we do for the fans. You know, we do it because we love it, and that’s why you should do it. I think if the day ever came where I was like, you know what, I don’t wanna do this anymore, then that’s the day I need to get out. But until that day comes, I think I have enough passion that this is what I should be doing, and this is the direction my life is going, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
SW: But are there specific goals? You’ve got award nominations. Are there similar things in the community, much like when you were a police officer and wanted to be the sheriff? Are those the same desires you experience in this job?
BL: Oh, absolutely. I mean, it would be a dream come true to shoot for Vixen or Evil Angel. I have a lot of goals for my career. I have a lot of things that I want to do. Sometimes, the hard part is just being patient, waiting for that to come, and putting in the work. But I also know you must put in the work, and I don’t expect anything to be handed to me. And I will do all I have to do to make my goals and dreams in this industry come true.
SW: Have you made a detailed plan where you will shoot a scene where you say, “Okay, I did a gangbang? I’m done.” You seem very specific about waiting to do things at a certain pace and elongating your career.
BL: Yes, a gang bang is on my list of shoots I would like to do. I don’t think I have a moment where I’ve always wanted to shoot with so-and-so, but I got that shot, and now I’m on top. I’m done. I can’t do anything else because I don’t want to change being here. I don’t have anything like that in my mind. I’m always looking for the next challenge and exciting thing. And so I don’t think I would limit myself with a cap on that.
SW: How different are you from the person we see on camera? How much of this is an act?
BL: I’m pretty forthright about who I am. And where I stand, what I believe in, what I think is hot, and where I wanna go. I’m not fake. And I feel when I meet other people who work in the industry, they’re like, wow, you are just like your videos, primarily when I shoot with new up-and-comers in the content creation world. I shot with a girl, and she’s like, wow, you’re just as cool as you are in your TikToks or scenes because that’s what I feel is essential. I’ve never wanted to be fake. And so, that’s just the one thing I bring to the table.
SW: Are you freakier at home or freakier on camera?
BL: I’m probably freakier at home. Because the one thing when you do shoot for, you know, a video or whatever is, you know, it’s always out there. You want to look good, whereas if it’s just my husband and I fooling around, I’m not worried about camera angles. I’m not concerned that anything embarrassing could happen that might end up out there for public consumption. So, I think that’s where you would find out I’m a little bit more freaky when I’m not on camera.
SW: And subconsciously, you guys are having fun at home with your husband. Do you ever find yourself setting up your camera because you’re so used to performing?
BL: No, in fact, it’s funny because a lot of times I’m like, oh, we should probably shoot a scene. We haven’t shot a scene in a while because a lot of times I just want to have that passion like I just want to get on my husband kind of sex. And so, I think you see a lot of that in the content I shoot with him, but I think some of that passion just isn’t there. And we need to have a piece for us and one for my fans, and we’ve got a good balance as far as that goes.
SW: So, then, do you prefer making love or fucking?
BL: I like both, and I think they both serve a very valid purpose in our marriage, um, but it just kind of depends on the mood I’m in at the time and what I’m looking for and how I’m feeling and same with him and what our level of connection is like you know we might have a private encounter that starts as fucking, but then it turns into making love. So, I think I will go with the flow.
SW: Your husband seems like a super cool dude. What, for you guys, is the secret of keeping this going when most people in porn fail when it comes to relationships?
BL: He completely trusts me and has always supported me in chasing my dreams.
It wasn’t easy on our marriage when I tested for lieutenant. I was working different shifts and trying to learn a new job, which was super stressful. He’s just always been that rock for me, and I think that is what makes all of this also work. I’m so lucky.
SW: A couple of sex questions. Before you went all the way, had you masturbated, given hand jobs, BJs, or any of that stuff, or did you wait until you lost your virginity?
BL: No, I did masturbate before I ever had sex, for sure.
SW: And the first time you masturbated, did you know what that was? Or did you accidentally touch yourself, and it felt good?
BL: I can’t say how all that came about, but I know that when I did do it, it felt fucking good. I was like, all right.
SW: When you lost your virginity, was that planned? Was that a pure girlfriend pressure thing?
BL: We danced around it a little bit. We knew that’s what we wanted to do. And when you’re in high school, it’s more of a timing and location thing.
SW: Did you take the initiative with that?
BL: It was like this unspoken thing we knew would happen. And it was funny because I should be prepared. And that was back when bowling alleys were really big, arenas, and whatever. And they had condom machines in the bathroom. I mean, so we were at a bowling alley one time, and I was like, I should probably get a condom out of this machine. You’re putting in like your dollar or whatever, and out pops this condom. I’m like, okay, well, at least I have this. So I was somewhat prepared, but it wasn’t like this super well-planned-out thought-about thing.
SW: Then you have sex with that man at that point. Do you guys continue having sex longer term?.
BL: I know we fooled around a couple of times. And then, you know, it was summertime, you know, how that goes. You stayed in touch with some people from school and whatever and enjoyed my summer, but he wasn’t in my school during my senior year. So, it was like I didn’t see him and had fun over the summer. We did that, and we experienced it. I still remember his name to this day, but other than that, it wasn’t anything more than that.
SW: Do you remember the first time you gave someone a BJ?
BL: I can’t say that I do. Isn’t that interesting?
SW: At this point, you can say you are good at giving BJs?
BL: I am. Yeah, I get a lot of positive feedback. I can only really go off of that.
SW: What’s the secret to a good BJ? Are you a hand person or a spit person?
BL: I try to incorporate everything because it’s all super hot. I’ve been working on my deep-throat skills. So, I’m proud of myself for where I am with that. Certainly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be like some of my friends in the industry who have no gag reflex, and it looks super hot what they do. I’ll never be that way, but I am proud of how far I’ve come. And you can’t count on just one thing. Because your partner may find different things attractive. And so, you can’t get locked into one thing, which makes you better all around.
SW: Have you ever felt a sense of power over a man when you’ve had his penis in your mouth?
BL: Of course, doesn’t everyone?
SW: Have you ever used your abilities to get something you want?
BL: Um, I guess, yeah, probably. I mean, we’re all human. Um, I wouldn’t say that I like to offer up sex to get something that I want, but I know that it’s definitely something that if you bang it out well, chances are, you know, you can get something out of it. But I wouldn’t say intentionally go out looking for something from that.
SW: And at this point, do you do anal scenes?
BL: I do anal with my husband. Right now, that is just something that is for him and me. It will be something that I do eventually professionally and mainstream, but not until I’m ready for that to be a thing. And right now, I just kind of enjoy that with him.
SW: Have you had sex with two boys before porn?
BL: I indulged in some of that before I was married the first time and then before I ended up dating and marrying my current husband.
SW: When you’re not doing silly interviews like this and have time off, what do you like to do?
BL: I’m a sports mom. I run my kids to and from practice and go to all of their games and events and things like that. I am a big sports fanatic when it comes to pro sports and college sports. Just, you know, I enjoy that. I love concerts. I golf. That’s me. That is the main thing that I like to indulge in. And so that’s the hard part about living in Colorado, which is, you know, the winter is not a good time to golf. So, they just started playing the tournaments again. You see, I watched some golf the other night, and I enjoy watching tournaments, but it’s just given me that itch to get back out there on the fairway.
SW: Well, being a mom, how difficult is that to balance this career and that?
BL: I think at first it was a shock, you know because first of all, you never want to think about your parents having sex. And you certainly don’t wanna think about your parents having sex with people other than your parents. But I think my kids ultimately realize that that’s my work. We don’t talk about it much. They know that’s what I do, but I think that ultimately, they also know my focus is on them, not to embarrass or make things awkward. And so, we know it exists, but it’s that don’t-ask-don’t-tell thing, I guess, more than anything.
SW: But at what point would you have the birds-and-the-bees discussion if you haven’t already had it? Will that be the discussion about you being in the business, too, or will that just be about having safe sex and getting a condom out of the machine in the bowling alley?
BL: My kids are teenagers, so we’ve already had the talk several times, and it was ironic that my daughter brought up when all of this came out. She’s like, “You’re the person who told me never to send nudes to anyone. And now I know you sent nudes to people, and you put them on the internet for everyone to see.” I’m like, “Good point, you’re right. I still agree with that for you. However, I’m an adult, and I’m in a position where I chose to do that, and I have to face the consequences of it. And I don’t feel like, as a teenager, you are equipped to make that decision. So, I still feel like it’s important that you’re not sharing nudes, and you’re not doing those things until you can embrace the consequences of that.”
SW: Have your kids gotten any blowback because of your career choice?
BL: You know, they have not. At least they’ve not shared it with me, and we are pretty open. My kids don’t have any secrets from me. So I think initially, there was a fear of, “Oh my God, your mom is a porn star.” But I think that now, like, I never changed. I have loved them the same from when they were born to today. And I think they know our family is very big into ride-or-die and we support each other. And I think they know at the end of the day that who I am has never changed, my love for them has never changed, and it never will. Family first.
SW: Say one of your children wants to get an OnlyFans account when they become 21 for the sake of discussion.
BL: I don’t think so. That shouldn’t be on their agenda. But you know what? If my kids came to me in their 20s and they were like, hey, you know, so I did this, I’d be like, okay, well, you know, great. How do you feel about it?
SW: What made you come to that decision?
BL: Things like that. Ultimately, if this directing and studio thing works out the way I want, then that’s a legacy I can leave my kids. So, I’m very open about that. And it provides a lifestyle for my family. And maybe one of my kids wants to have that legacy and wants to run a studio moving forward when I officially retire. I don’t know.
SW: Regarding your adult career, is there any part of this journey that surprises or amazes you?
BL: What amazes me is that I’ve grown so much in the product I make. I think whether it’s professional or for my content. What surprises me is that I am developing into someone I would enjoy watching. Because, you know, I still partake in porn. I watch porn almost all day when my kids aren’t home. It’s on the TV. I call it market research.
SW: If you see a cop show now, do you still watch cop shows? Has your perspective on that changed?
BL: No, I will still and always be a cop show junkie, and I still am critical. I’m like, “Oh my God, they just violated their rights,” or “You should not have done that.” Or, “Hello, did you not know about case law?” I still evaluate it like I would as a lieutenant.
I think that will never go away, and I’ve had to adapt to overcome it in my shoots. When I shoot as a police officer in the sex industry, I don’t have to worry about case law anymore, and I don’t have to worry about all of those things. That’s been the most challenging part for me. The opportunity came up, lightning struck, and God did whatever God did.
SW: You can become a lieutenant again. Would you do it?
BL: No, absolutely not. My police career served a part in my life that it needed to. Still, law enforcement has changed significantly from 1993, when I had my first job, to now, when many things happen in law enforcement that I disagree with. Being out and, you know, seeing how police interact with the public and knowing what my expectations were for myself and for my guys. Yeah, I just don’t wanna be a part of it anymore.
SW: Tell us how to find you online.
BL: The best way to find me is to go to TheRealBellaLexi.com. All of my links are on my website.
SW: Do you monitor your kids on social media?
BL: Being a parent in 2024 with social media is very difficult. I wonder if I would have been equipped to handle it at their age. And that’s why having a very good, healthy relationship with kids is so important. They do share if something’s not right on social media or if there’s some unrealistic expectation being put on them about social media.
I am very active in what they do on their phones, especially when all of this went down because I feel like parents should have parental control. And that’s a parental issue. I don’t know if that’s a government issue or if we should make a law about that. Those are all things parents and families need to address themselves.
SW: Is social media a good thing, a bad thing in your career choice, or a necessary evil?
BL: Every bit of that is a factor. I think that I need to use social media for my business. I think sometimes it’s used for evil rather than good. Absolutely. I have always tried to use it for my own good. I have been on the receiving end of some evil social media communications, which is difficult. And you know, you wanna defend yourself, and being able to stop and get off that crazy train and not respond is the hardest part. And I think that’s just human nature if you wanna defend whatever someone is judging you for. And most of my judgment comes from my prior career and what I do now. So, I think people think I’m this undercover operative trying to destroy the porn industry.
SW: Does your brain kick in from a law enforcement angle? Does your brain kick in from being a strong woman?
BL: It does. And I find myself with my fingers on the home row, and I’m like, okay, hold on, back, back, back, delete. I have to choose what works for me. And as much as I want to be a keyboard warrior, I also have to realize that it will probably fall on deaf ears. Is my response going to help anyone else in the industry? Is it going to make things worse? Or is taking the high road and saying nothing the best way to address it? I think long-term about my reaction and how it will affect the industry.
SW: Anything you want to say to all of your fans?
BL: Thank you. Honestly, without them, I’m not going to get all emotional. But without our fans, we aren’t anything, and we aren’t anyone. And so I don’t discount that. I am so appreciative every day when I wake up and have messages. People tagged me, saying, “Hey, shoot with this girl for your studio.” I’m appreciative, and thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t be here.
Please follow her:
X, formally known as Twitter: @real_bella_lexi
Instagram: the.real. Bella. Lexi.2
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@
Thanks to DJD Media for their help with this
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