So you wanna be a publicist

Top 10 clues you will be a successful Porn Publicist

1: Have a second grade level of writing skills

2: Have no idea of what a keyword or hashtag is

3: Steal a press release from an actual publicist, use it as your template

Then contact the person you stole it from and ask them to proof your press release

4: Disregard above mention of proofing anything you do

5: Threaten any outlet who doesn’t kiss your ass, then screw your clients by refusing to send

said outlets your press releases thus screwing said clients out of publicity

6: Attend an event with said client where said media is the covering and be able to keep a straight face as you explain when she asks why the media is ignoring her.

7: Get upset at a media outlet who responds to a press release you’ve sent requesting additional info.

8: Try and Poach everyone you meet from any other publicist, explaining how their last

Press release did not showcase their personality

9: Make sure you throw yourself in every photo opt your client gets

10: Take a photo with anyone and start telling anyone who will listen you are reping them

And yes, this happens each and every day in the Adult Entertainment Industry, and yes most of you pay to have these clowns do more harm than good to your brand.