So you wanna be a publicist

Top 10 clues you will be a successful Porn Publicist

1: Have a second grade level of writing skills

2: Have no idea of what a keyword or hashtag is

3: Steal a press release from an actual publicist, use it as your template

Then contact the person you stole it from and ask them to proof your press release

4: Disregard above mention of proofing anything you do

5: Threaten any outlet who doesn’t kiss your ass, then screw your clients by refusing to send

said outlets your press releases thus screwing said clients out of publicity

6: Attend an event with said client where said media is the covering and be able to keep a straight face as you explain when she asks why the media is ignoring her.

7: Get upset at a media outlet who responds to a press release you’ve sent requesting additional info.

8: Try and Poach everyone you meet from any other publicist, explaining how their last

Press release did not showcase their personality

9: Make sure you throw yourself in every photo opt your client gets

10: Take a photo with anyone and start telling anyone who will listen you are reping them

And yes, this happens each and every day in the Adult Entertainment Industry, and yes most of you pay to have these clowns do more harm than good to your brand.

 

 

 

 

Follow us on twitter: @emmreport, instagram @emmreport, [email protected]

 

 

BRANDY CLARK’S NEW SELF-TITLED ALBUM OUT TODAY, PRODUCED BY BRANDI CARLILE 

NOMINATED FOR BEST ORIGINAL SCORE AT 76TH ANNUAL TONY AWARDS 11x Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter and musician Brandy Clark’s highly anticipated new self-titled album is out today via Warner Records. Stream/purchase HERE. Produced by 9x Grammy-winner Brandi Carlile and recorded at the famed Shangri-La studio in Malibu, CA, the album features the most raw and intimate recordings of Clark’s decade-long career, as she showcases […]

Read More

EELS RELEASE LIMITED EDITION VINYL REISSUE OF BLINKING LIGHTS AND OTHER REVELATIONS OUT TODAY VIA E WORKS/[PIAS]

Photo credit: Gus Black  Today, critically acclaimed rock group, EELS have released a limited edition remastered vinyl reissue of their 2005 record, Blinking Lights and Other Revelations via E Works/[PIAS]. Available to order HERE. Band leader and principal songwriter Mark Oliver Everett says: “When it was time to master the BLINKING LIGHTS reissue I needed to listen to the whole double album for […]

Read More

SIR CHLOE’S DEBUT ALBUM I AM THE DOG OUT NOW VIA ATLANTIC RECORDS

TO TOUR NORTH AMERICA AND EUROPE  Press photo; credit: Grant Spanier I Am The Dog, the debut album from Sir Chloe—the project of vocalist, songwriter and guitarist Dana Foote—is out now via Atlantic Records—get the album and listen to lead single, “Should I,” here. To celebrate the release, Sir Chloe played a special sold-out album release show last night […]

Read More